Holy Mary, Mother of God – pray for us sinners..
Last night in the train on the way home I was reading the questionnaire on the vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the Contemporary world in case I decided to go to a meeting discussing it later that evening. Anyone who knows me at all will understand that I had some “moments”. While on the surface the questions are open-ended, the “right” answer is often in the questions or the question is framed in such a way to constrain the discussion. And then we get to Question 44 which is about the only question that refrains from religious jargon and is distinctive in its brevity.
“how does the church combat the scourge of abortion and foster an effective culture of life?”
Not altogether a surprising question – but as my eye flicked across to my phone and my twitter feed as a distraction, there was a tweet “The NZ Catholic Bishops support sending troops to Iraq …”
Kind of breathtaking isn’t it? The total and utter mismatch. I have since read the whole press release and it isn’t totally unqualified but the support is there.
So my answer to this question (and the questionnaire is online if you would also like to answer it)
When the Church treats all human life with equal dignity, when the Church actively stands against sending our children to war, when the Church can guarantee that every child conceived will have shelter, clean water, good food, free health care, free and high quality education. When every child’s mother will never have to flinch away from violence, will never have to fear rape, will never have to parent alone, will have the health care she needs including mental health care and contraception, when she has the support of a loving partner, when she lives in a society that attributes her equal rights and dignity and ensures she has the income needed to provide her children with all those things listed above – maybe then this wont be a question, although even then she should have the choice about carrying a child to term.
You have created a “woman only” sin and made it the worst of sins – when every day men wage war and use sex as a weapon of power. Look at your own language “how do we combat..” The language of war in relation to a woman’s choice. Openness to life is more than giving birth to a child – it is about protecting the precious gift of promise that child is – and you are doing a stunningly bad job of that. For many women abortion is the life-giving choice – for her current and future children, her family and her community.
You needed to stand for life – to suggest there was another way. To recognise that ISIS is the result of layers of injustice and centuries of getting it wrong and more guns and more violence isn’t going to make it go away. Part of this hypocrisy is the supposition that any of those raped ISIS “brides” should carry any child conceived to term – that their choice to give life should be taken away from them or valorised. It’s not your body though is it? And being men you will NEVER EVER know what you are asking. Having had five children, I do – and I’m asking you to stop.
- Please stop equating openness to life with women’s reproductive rights.
- Please stop equating openness to life with a man and a woman having children
Please stop because it makes you blind
- Blind to the culture of death that focuses on economic power and finance over loving relationships and caring for others
- Blind to the countless choices men and women individually, and in heterosexual and same sex relationships make every day to build caring, love filled homes not just for biological children but their wider communities.
- Blind to the innumerable women in our communities who when faced with an unplanned or unwanted conception make ethical, considered choices for life.
Your questions make no sense to my adult sons and daughters who live their lives the best they can by the values they grew up with. Values which are consistent with faith but no longer find the Church a place for them to grow in. They don’t make a lot of sense to me. As long as men freely choose not to be fathers, women can freely choose not to be mothers.
Seriously – don’t you think it might be time to think again? Or like supporting sending troops to another un-winnable war, you will keep on getting what you have always got – an increasingly alienated generation. I know many of you walk a path of justice and peace – but stuff like this is giving away that you aren’t hearing men and women of today who increasingly have to make sense of a life of faith without a meaningful or a useful contribution from the Church.
PS I didn’t go to the meeting – not because I am indifferent but because I am not indifferent enough.
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